Stop! Fearing the worst...live in the moment

“The day you stop worrying will be the first day of your new life; anxiety takes you in circles, trust in yourself and become free.” — Leon Brown

 Tired of predicting the future?

It might be that fearing the worst, is robbing you of the present…

 You notice a dark brown spot on your forehead. You lean closer to the mirror and examine it closely. It is dark in color, with irregular borders.

It’s melanoma, You are thinking. As You brush your teeth, You imagine your final days. Your friends visit, bring you flowers and sit by bedside you. You imagine your funeral take place in a beautiful park by your house. People are huddled in small groups, speaking in hushed tones. So sad, she was so young.

You put away your toothbrush and your heart is flopping around like a fish on a pier. You reach up and touch the spot. And it rubs off. It was hair dye.

 It’s 7 pm on a weekday and a loved one is late home from work. They are also not answering their phone. You immediately imagine the worst: the phone call from emergency services, a frantic trip to hospital, rushing alone to find them, something like that

"If I fail this test, I will never pass school, and I will be a total failure in life."

"If I don't recover quickly from this procedure, I will never get better, and I will be disabled my entire life."

"If my partner leaves me, I will never find anyone else, and I will never be happy again."

Does this sound familiar? 

This is a habit. When we faced with the unknown, we expect the worst. And we make mountains—no, volcanoes—out of molehills. Turns out, there’s a name for this: catastrophizing.

If you recognise these spiralling thoughts, you could be catastrophizing.

Doctors also call catastrophizing "magnifying," because a person makes a situation seem much worse, dire, or severe than it is.

When we catastrophize, we actually do two things: first, we predict the worst possible outcome; second, we assume that if this outcome transpires, we won’t be able to cope and it will be an absolute disaster.

We’ll fret over an exam, assuming that we will fail horribly and subsequently end up broke and destitute. We’ll decline an offer to go out on a date because we are sure the other person will find us unattractive and boring, and as a result, we’ll be single and desperately lonely until we die. Or, some of us see a spot on our face and automatically assume it is a terminal disease. (That said, if you’re new spot doesn’t rub off, calmly take you to the doctor to get it checked out.)

Catastrophizing is incredibly common. Studies have shown that up to 70 percent of our thoughts are negative. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t want to be this way; rather, our brains are hardwired to focus on the bad stuff. Once upon a time, this tendency was essential for survival. When venturing out of the safety of our caves to find food, we had to be constantly on the lookout for predators. Nowadays, our walk across the grocery store parking lot may not be as risky as a walk across the savannah, but thanks to evolution, our brains are still constantly on guard.

Catastrophizing is an anxiety related psychological habit or way of thinking in which the person imagine and expects the worst possible outcome of a situation, especially in the face of uncertainty. But catastrophizing can lead to high levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. Interestingly, it can also make physical pain worse. 

Catastrophizing can be a result of or cause of anxiety. Every person tends to catastrophize from time to time.

Catastrophizing is a belief that something is far worse than it really is.

While there are several potential causes and contributors to catastrophizing, most fall into these categories. These are:

**Ambiguity

Ambiguity or being vague can open a person up to catastrophic thinking.

An example would be getting a text message from a friend or partner that reads, "We need to talk."

This vague message could be something positive or negative, but a person cannot know which of these it is with just the information they have. So they may start to imagine the very worst news.

**Value

Relationships and situations that a person holds in high value can result in a tendency to catastrophize. When something is particularly significant to a person, the concept of loss or difficulty can be harder to deal with.

An example would be applying for a job that a person wants. They may start to imagine the great disappointment, anxiety, and depression they will experience if they do not get the job before the organization has even made any decisions.

**Fear

Fear, especially irrational fear, plays a big part in catastrophizing. If a person is scared of going to the doctor, they could start to think about all the bad things a doctor could tell them, even if they are just going for a check-up.

A person may also experience catastrophizing related to a medical condition or past event in their life.

How to stop catastrophizing:

Catastrophizing can lead to depression and anxiety in some individuals. Now onto the good news: there are ways we can break out of this pattern of doom and gloom, and let go of our worst expectations. Next time you find yourself catastrophizing, use these techniques which require the person to be aware that they are experiencing catastrophic thinking, to recognize their actions, and to try to stop and correct their irrational thinking. Few tips to accomplish this include remembering and making use of the following techniques. These can help to manage the condition, please try the following:

🔥Acknowledging, that unpleasant things happen: 

Life is full of challenges as well as good and bad days. Just because one day is bad does not mean all days will be bad.

🔥Recognising when thoughts are irrational:

 Catastrophizing often follows a distinct pattern. A person will start with a thought, such as "I am hurting today." They will then expand on the thought with worry and anxiety, such as, "The pain is only going to get worse," or "This hurting means I'll never get better." When a person learns to recognize these thoughts, they are better equipped to handle them.

Take it a step further and write down your worries throughout the day in a journal. Both of these activities allow you to step back and observe your own thoughts, rather than actively engaging with them. Eventually, you’ll see your worst-case scenarios for what they are: just thoughts, nothing more.

🔥Saying "stop!" 

To cease the repetitive, catastrophic thoughts, a person may have to say out loud or in their head "stop!" or "no more!" These words can keep the stream of thoughts from continuing and help a person change the course of their thinking.

🔥Thinking about another outcome: 

Instead of thinking about a negative outcome, consider a positive one or even a less-negative option.

🔥Offering positive affirmations: 

When it comes to catastrophic thinking, a person has to believe in themselves and that they can overcome their tendency to fear the worst. They may wish to repeat a positive affirmation to themselves on a daily basis.

🔥Practicing excellent self-care: 

Catastrophic thoughts are more likely to take over when a person is tired and stressed. Getting enough rest and engaging in stress-relieving techniques, such as exercise, meditation, and journaling, can all help a person feel better

The problem isn’t so much the catastrophic thoughts themselves, but the fact that we tend to buy into them. We believe our own stories, and we ruminate when there is no actual threat present. In other words, we create our own suffering.

🔥Ask questions

When you catch yourself predicting a terrible outcome, stop and ask yourself: “Is this something that I know to be true today? Is this outcome truly a catastrophe, or is it just unpleasant? What other possible outcomes are there? Are any of them positive?”

🔥Have faith in your ability to cope

OK, so what if that Horrible Thing—bad date, failed test, illness—does happen? Think about how you would react and what you would do to make the outcome more positive. Reflect on past experience as well: how did you overcome past hardships? You’ll likely find comfort in knowing that you can, in fact, get through difficult times.

🔥Be kind to yourself

Realize that this kind of thinking is natural, and something we all do from time to time. Don’t beat yourself up, and give yourself the space and the time to reflect and adjust. We won’t stop catastrophizing overnight—it is a process, one that can take place over a lifetime.

🔥Real life is nuanced; 

Seldom do we experience true catastrophes. Even if we do, negative experiences are not always 100 percent horrible. The hardest, worst times in our life have contained moments of hope and even small flickers of joy. 

Our apocalyptic visions of the future do not take these details into account, and they make us fearful when there is nothing to fear. 

Sometimes a molehill is really just a molehill. 

And, I would argue, most of the time it’s not there at all.