Connect With Yourself

Connecting with yourself is a monumental and life changing event. Loneliness and desperation are only possible when we have lost touch with our beauty within. Once you connect with yourself, it is impossible to be lonely or desperate.

————-Bryant McGill 

What does it mean to be connected with yourself?

 For me, connection means feeling in alignment with my highest self, it’s feeling capable, strong, loving and compassionate. It’s a sense of knowingness and wisdom that is completely unique to me. Lately I have been searching for more and more ways to feel some sort of connection to myself, perhaps because, I have been feeling disconnected. It’s so easy to go through the ins and outs of life and forget some of the important things. Connection for me is important. I’m not going to judge myself for feeling disconnected, but instead, focus on things that I can do to get back in touch with myself.

I had a very poor relationship with myself. I was always striving for external satisfaction whilst my inner dialogue was judgmental, critical, and negative. I never felt like I was good enough or worthy. The truth is, I didn’t even know who I was under all the layers of guilt, expectation, and anxiety I had built up around me.

So many of us go through life disconnected from our inner self, looking for something else (or someone else) to complete us. When we draw our awareness deeper inwards, we begin to feel supported, guided, and at peace. Like any relationship, the one we have with ourself requires time and commitment to build.

The sad truth is there isn’t a single person who isn't aware of struggles happening somewhere in the world, even if it’s within our own family. Grief, stress, anxiety and fear surround us all at some point and often, it's at these times when we pull away from everything, go inside and curl into a metaphorical ball.

So what exactly can we do about it? We have a plan for when someone falls down - we find them a plaster. When their knee swells up, we give them an ice-pack to ease the pain, but what can we offer when they, and we, have wounds we cannot see?

I’m sure some of you have felt this way at one time or another, so I thought I would share with you my ways of finding that connection with myself.

Today, I’m sharing ways to help you connect to yourself on a deeper level.

🌷Sitting with yourself (aka meditation). 

I have truly found the importance and benefit of sitting with yourself on a daily basis. No matter how much time I have, I make sure that before I begin my day I start out with a few minutes of meditation. For me, meditation is an instant connector with my higher self. It lets me know where I stand, how I’m feeling, and prepares me to enter my day. I try not to judge my thoughts that come and go and just allow. Each day is different for me with my meditation practice, but I have found that it’s best to be flexible and find what works in the given moment.

🌷Looking at yourself.

 I first learned about mirror work while one of my retreat. My teacher passed around little handheld mirrors and had us sit, looking into the mirror, and telling ourselves that we loved ourselves. I never could have imagined how hard this would be! Try taking some time every day to look at yourself in the mirror with purpose. Look yourself in the eyes and remind yourself of how much you love yourself. This isn’t an egotistical exercise, it really has nothing to do with the body or your physical appearance; it’s about loving and honouring yourself on a soul level.  Try it out! Look into a mirror today and say, “I love you.”

🌷Disconnect from technology.

 Many times when I’m feeling disconnected from myself, I’m TOO connected to technology. We live in a technology-driven world, I understand that; it’s so important to take some time away from the screens and give your eyes and mind a break! Make some time each day to be on a mini-digital detox.

🌷Journaling

Writing is a great way to tap into your inner wisdom and deepen your connection to yourself. Grab a notebook or journal and start by asking yourself a question such as: “What do I need to know today?” Listen for the answer and write it all down.

The trick is not to think too much about what you are writing, but let your pen flow across the page without editing, judgment, or guilt. This is a great tool when we feel stuck, as often we already have all the answers we need; we just need to uncover them.

 🌷Check in with yourself regularly.

How often do you check in with yourself? Start by asking you a simple question: How do I feel right now? Then note your response. Tune into your body and notice what it’s telling you. Pay attention to that fluttering in your chest or belly.

 🌷Find silence.

We live in a world full of information, noise, and demands on our time and attention. When we jump off the merry-go-round for a while and get silent, we tune into our deeper self.

Try taking just five minutes each morning or night to sit in silence and just be present. You don’t need to worry about emptying all thoughts from your head; instead simply notice the thoughts, letting them go and returning to your centre.

🌷 Focus on your breath.

You can do this anywhere and at anytime, so it’s a great way to connect with yourself throughout the day. Focusing on your breath helps to ground you and draw you deeper into your inner self.

Just focus on your breath, by bringing your awareness to it. Then follow it as you inhale and exhale. Feel the rise of your chest as it fills you right up, following it all the way to your belly and out again. Repeat for as long as you feel necessary.

🌷Feel all the feelings.

When times get tough, we often push on and cover up how we feel in an attempt to hold things together. In doing so, we disconnect from our inner self as all our feelings and emotions are there to tell us something.

Let yourself feel all the feelings. Have the courage to sit with the difficult or uncomfortable emotions and fears. Be compassionate with yourself and tune into your breath to keep yourself grounded.

 🌷Create a morning ritual.

Make time each morning before you begin your day to sit and tune into yourself. Even if all you can find is five minutes make it a regular practice to check in with yourself each morning and spend time doing something that nourishes your soul.

You might want to set an intention for the day, spend time in meditation, break out your journal, or repeat positive affirmations. Whatever works for you and however much time you have, make it a daily practice to deepen your connection to yourself.

🌷Become aware of your thoughts.

The things we focus on are the things that become our reality, so start becoming aware of your thoughts. Notice where fear or self-criticism arise for you. Don’t place any judgment on these thoughts but consciously choose to let them go or reframe them into a new perspective. When we are able to do this, we are more equipped to manifest the things we truly desire.

🌷Move your body.

See movement and exercise as a form of self-love instead of a chore. Listen to what your body needs and flow with it rather than forcing yourself to do something that feels like a chore.

Take a walk in nature, dance around your kitchen, run, go to a class, or hit your yoga mat. Choose to do what feels expansive and freeing to your body. Really feel what it is like to move and stretch your body, anchoring into any sensations that come up for you.

 🌷Do more of what makes you happy.

What really makes your heart sing? What lights you up? Maybe it’s painting or getting creative. Perhaps you love to prepare a nourishing meal for yourself and your family or to get outside into nature. Whatever you love to do, do it more often. Where can you make room in your schedule for these activities? What can you drop from your to-do list to allow yourself to tune into your internal joy?

🌷Practise acceptance

This, in my opinion, is the most important and the lack of it so often causes heartache and pain. When was the last time you judged yourself on your actions, your thinking, your non-actions, and your non-thinking? It’s incessant, isn’t it?  

But what can you do about it? Well, when we take a mindful approach, instead of trying to ignore it and drown it out (often unsuccessfully) with happy thoughts, we approach it with acceptance and eventually, understanding. Not an acceptance of what's being said necessarily, but an acceptance that it needs to be heard. Almost immediately, this voice doesn't need to shout anymore - it's being listened to, being heard and eventually it will quieten to a whisper.

 🌷Ask for help

Asking for help used to have such a stigma attached to it, but thankfully that is changing now and the power of vulnerability is beginning to dominate the mainstream. One of most important psychological first-aid treatments we can give ourselves and others is the power to ask for help and be open to receiving it. A friend, family member, doctor or helpline - all are there for us when we're ready to reach out and be supported.

🌷 Appreciate and celebrate

Did you know that when you appreciate someone, they get the same warm fuzzy feeling as when they know they are loved? For that reason alone, we need to be doing more of it. When we start appreciating ourselves and celebrating those tiny things we do well, or that we did better than yesterday, something magical happens and the good stuff keeps on coming and growing.

When we appreciate others; when we recognise how they're improving and demonstrate this to them, it has a huge impact on their healing and gives them the confidence to keep going too.

 🌷Spend time in nature

 Being in nature immediately helps me to shift my energy and connect with myself. There is something so comforting about being with Mother Nature, and I’ve been craving that time more and more lately. Whether it’s heading out to the beach or even taking a walk in a local park, nature can have so many healing and connecting properties. Get yourself out there into nature's garden and have a dose of her medicine by going for a walk, taking deep breaths and getting back into the moment.

The desire to stay inside can be strong, but the need to get outside is stronger. Take your friends and family with you too, as it's a good exercise for everyone involved.

🌷Tune into your senses

The one thing that gets us out of our heads immediately is when we get into our bodies and our senses. That moment when your thoughts are ruminating out of control again is not a time to be positive – not yet anyway. It's a time to connect to your breath, feel your beating heart and the sensation of the cool wind against your face.

 🌷Smile!

Start each day by greeting yourself in the mirror. Take time to connect by looking into your own eyes. Smile at yourself, and feel your vibration rise. You could even speak a positive affirmation or mantra out loud to yourself in the mirror. Acknowledge your own presence before you go about your day.

These small and daily actions help us deepen our connection to ourselves. They help us stay grounded, gain confidence, and live in alignment with what we really want.

Take your friend outside and help them reconnect to what's real and what it means to be alive. Help them reconnect to who they truly are again.

What daily mantras or routines keep you connected with your true passions? Share in the comment section below.

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